The Unspoken Guest–Host Agreement
Thoughts on hosting, guesting, and how to make both feel easier and more intentional, with a little side of baby food thrown in.
How We Show Up
Summer is hands down my favorite time of year. I love the heat, the buzz in the air, and the sheer abundance of sweet, peak-season produce. My happy place? Our Brooklyn backyard, my beloved Kamado Joe (she’s pricey but I scored her on Facebook Marketplace; that story’s for another day), and watching my kid run wild, yanking up all the freshly potted plants I arranged just the day before.
There’s truly nothing better than having friends over for a laid-back barbecue, everyone outside with a chilled glass of red in hand. Lately, I’ve been migrating into a headspace on how to do more with less. This whole “do less” mindset was kind of handed to me by necessity…trying to prep while also juggling a little one’s needs and moods. You quickly learn how to make a lot happen with little time, while still keeping the intention, care, and especially flavor!
There’s an art to being a good host. And a different art to being a good guest. If you’re lucky (and by lucky I mean the all stars aligning—guests arriving a cool 10 behind, items popping in and out of the oven while swapping sweats for a skirt), sometimes you get to be both. Your presence is now passed to your guest(s).
This summer, we’ve seen hosting and guesting really have a moment. Meredith launched her new cookbook on how to be a fabulous host; Justine, in a recent Substack, highlighted Casey Elass’s new cookbook on how to be a great guest. The commonality here is that there seems to be a bigger emphasis than ever before on how we enter a space, how we care for each other, and how we can offer each other a little bit of joy in doing both of these things.
So this issue of The Fifth Course is dedicated to that spirit. The idea that presence is something we can prepare.
Meal Out: Bar Snacks as Hosting Inspiration
Had dinner recently at Bar Contra and was blown away. The cocktails, the bar snacks, the lighting, the vibe. The whole experience was effortlessly sexy. Jeremiah & Fabian know precisely what they’re doing and they’re clearly having fun playing with our palates.
My food order:
Celeriac Crumpet, Tuna Mayo, Oyster Tartare, Royal Red Prawns, Chicken Wings, Wagu Tartare, Comte and Truffle Tart & both desserts (obviously) Potato Ice Cream Sundae & Bar Contra Bar.
My Drink order:
Saltair // Umeboshi tequila, lime a salty plum drink, paired with a tiny beer.
Fantasy Island // White rum, mezcal, blanc vermouth, strawberry cordial. A strawberry sipper from two sides of the Atlantic
Safe to say I ate the entire menu minus two dishes. Even without tasting them, I’m pretty confident they’re just as incredible as the rest. Everything about this meal was sexy. Even the cocktail descriptions read like little love letters, setting the mood before the first sip.
Sitting at the bar had me instantly dreaming up my next hosting moment: intimate, vibey, and filled with small, snacky bites.
Meal In: The Snacky Bite Addition
Based on my Meal Out and what I was speaking about above, my solution for summer hosting — The Snacky Bite (TBS)
It’s hot, you’re tired, and you want to gather, but the idea of spending two hours prepping feels like too much. Hello, TSB!
TSB operates for several key reasons. First, you don’t have to turn on your oven (unless you’re feeling extra motivated). Second, your guests get a fun variety to pick from. And third, it seems you put in way more effort on the night than you actually did. Win-win!
TSB also doubles as a guesting strategy. Asked to bring dessert? Choose two favorites and make them snack-sized. Bringing an app? Same concept, just scaled to bites. Apps are especially fun because so many of them already come perfectly portioned.
Here are a few of my favorite summer go-tos.
APPS:
Crudo / Ceviche (I shop at Aqua Best)
Green Pea and Corn Tartlet (wise cheat…use premade tartlets. These are my favorites: Crispy Shells & Phyllo Shells
Sweet and Spicy Watermelon Salad
MAINS:
Coconut Basil Pasta Salad
Lamb Meatballs with Dates served with Herby Yogurt
Grilled Sweet & Spicy Chicken Thighs! (To-go sauces: Hot Honey Sriracha & Bachan's Sweet Honey
DESSERTS:
Pistachio brittle
Strawberry Tart - I use a NYT Recipe
Miso Brown Butter Madeleine’s served with Crema Antica (Vanilla with Lemon Zest) from Gelateria Gentile.
High Chair Talk
Feeding a toddler forces you to strip food down. No frills, no salt, no wild spices (yet). Just whole ingredients, presented simply or cleverly disguised.
Feeding a kid is one thing. Getting all the nutrients in? That’s the real challenge. It’d be easy if carbs came packed with vitamins and minerals. But I’ve started shifting my mindset: the food doesn’t need to be perfect, it needs to bring pleasure. Similar to my summer hosting thought, which is the heart of TSB!
Mars is all about color and texture. She wants to experience her food, play with it, and especially loves anything bite-sized, which essentially is her size.
Lately, for my very opinionated, palate-conscious one-and-a-half-year-old, here are a few TSBs I’ve been making just for her:
Zucchini Banana Oat Muffins
Broccoli Cheese Waffles
Strawberry Banana Puffs
Side Plate: Here’s what’s catching my eye, palate, and inbox this week:
Food: A neighborhood French (to-go) breakfast at La Bicyclette Bakery
Restaurant: Una Pizza!!! Reservations are hard to acquire. Show up late night or for the first seating. Or reserve a month in advance. By far the best sit-down pizza I have ever had in New York City.
Clothing: Eliou!!!! If you don’t know them, take a look. The most wonderful, summer-forward jewelry. Owned by dear friends of mine, Duda and Cristy! They just did a collab with Ciao Lucia, the pieces are your new summer favorites
Men’s Rec: I've twice complimented a man on their shirt/jacket, and both times the brand was Drakes. Drakes, you are doing something right. It's giving relaxed English elegance! Geared for men, but women could certainly wear these pieces oversized. They just did a collab with New Balance, and it’s lovely. Also, I am fully aware that I am likely late to this shopping staple…
Sound Bites
Junes Playlist<3
That’s it for now! Enjoy the last couple of days of June! Can’t wait to chat in July <3
xx
Gina